49. Calling is for men, texting is for teenagers.

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What a stinger from Patti Stanger, a.k.a., “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” If you’ve ever 5d6a3bc5fcddfdebff9891850f78d127_width_640xwatched her show, you could say she’s kind of “old school” when it comes to dating. And mostly, so am I. Because I think in some ways, with women’s liberation, my generation and those that followed me got the short end of the stick. Men think we don’t need them anymore or that they don’t need to pursue us, because many of us will do their job for them. This is especially true in the case of young women. When social media is the norm and everyone is available every minute of every day via text, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapfish, etc., our communications with men become less special and I think we do, too. There was a time when we only had phones, you know the ones that had dials on them? Back then, it was generally easier to discern a man’s level of interest after a date. If you didn’t hear from him for a few days, or let’s say a week, you were fairly sure you wouldn’t hear from him again and said to yourself, “Next!” Today, the lines are so blurred. Even if someone isn’t that interested after a date, you might not know it. Texting breeds a kind of familiarity that if you don’t know someone, shouldn’t be there until you do. And it goes further than that. I’ve seen the most inappropriate texts between husbands and wives arguing over the most major issues in their marriage! It’s a great escape, isn’t it? You don’t have to cancel a date with someone by calling them, you don’t have to get to know someone by spending time with them and you certainly don’t have to be that interested to keep stringing someone along. And most important, you don’t have to talk to anyone!

Here are some more wise thoughts from a fellow blogger on dating in the digital age:

“While it seems more comfortable and convenient to communicate with friends via electronic messaging, it is actually a less effective way to establish a meaningful relationship. Conversations are shortchanged when you rely on texting, because you miss the emotional complexity that takes place in a face to face interaction.” You can read more of her thoughts at http://onceuponastruggle.com/2015/01/26/the-relationship-failure-of-the-digital-age/

Word to the wise: Real men may not eat quiche, but if they like you, they will call. Never forget that your voice is something truly special. And the guy you’re dating should want to hear it.

What do you think about dating in the digital age? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

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8 responses »

  1. Hi Eva, it’s Enrietta. I loved your article written here. You nailed it! Yes, I’ve watched Patti Stanger’s show and I like it that she is an advocate of the “old fashion” first couple of dates scenario. Brings back morals and scruples, which in the long run we all desire and feel good about that. Like you, I feel that today’s social media makes it too easy to be available anytime, any day and for anybody.

    I have seen many changes in my lifetime. And with that said, I, personally, miss the “I wonder if he liked me and wants to see me again” type of feeling. Waiting for the phone to either ring or not ring, then you could pretty much gage what the situation was.

    Take care Eva, and keep writing! I always look forward to it.

    Enrietta☺

    • Hi Enrietta, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. And I agree with everything you say as well. Morals and scruples – those are terrific words and we definitely need more young men and young women to understand what they mean. Sadly, it’s not just the young ones who seem to forgotten either…Thanks so much for your comment and support! 🙂

  2. LOVE your “Word to the Wise”. Beautiful! I never thought of it that way, but our voices are a big part of what makes us unique. Our tone, our inflections.. so important when getting to know someone especially. Bravo!

  3. Hi there, thanks for clarifying. And yes, I hope to one day be published. I’d love have some of the comments from the blog in the book as well. Thanks for your support and you keep up the great work, too!

    • She is a firecracker! There are no gray areas when it comes to dating as far as she’s concerned. It’s definitely great entertainment and sometimes she is scarily smart. Thanks for commenting and thanks for your wonderful post on relationships in the digital age 🙂

      • I meant to say, I look forward to reading your upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.” Very intriguing!

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