45. When you gain something, you lose something. When you lose something, you gain something.

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Thanks to ScarJo for this profound bit of wisdom. No wonder she’s one of Barbara Walter’s “10 Most HiResFascinating People of 2014.” Although, I think she was quoting someone else. Needless to say, when I heard it, it hit me hard. I started to think about all the times of loss and gain in my life, including some of the hardest losses in my 20s (like the death of my best friend). But for all I lost, and gained, the balance of life usually seemed to equal everything out. Take this year for example. I lost my job at the end of July. Clearly, losses on that front included steady income, stability, health insurance, paid vacation and retirement benefits. Wow. That’s quite a few hits. But what have I gained? Well, let’s see. There’d be more freedom, time to re-evaluate what I want to be when I grow up (even though I already am), meeting new people and getting out in the world, fear of the unknown (which might not be the worst thing for a planner like me) and knowing who I can, and can’t count on. Another thing that comes to mind is all the times I’ve been in crappy relationships and finally decided to call it quits. Although I cried a lot and missed people who weren’t really all that great, I gained my self-respect, dignity and the knowledge that I deserved better. Loss does seem to be an easier thing to reflect on. Weighing the pros and cons of gain is harder. Who doesn’t feel good when they gain something? So I thought back and remembered how happy I was when I bought my first condo on my own. Woo hoo! That was clearly a big gain, by any standards. But with becoming a homeowner, I was now tied to a mortgage, making and paying for all my own repairs and coughing up property taxes twice a year. However, I am a homeowner and I love it. As this year comes to a close, let me give it up to ScarJo for helping me to think profoundly and deeply about where I am today and how I got here. I hope her borrowed words of wisdom help you as well.

Word to the wise: Now is a great time to reflect on what you’ve lost and gained in 2014 and throughout your life. Yes, it’s the holidays and boy, talk about a time filled with both ends of the spectrum. All the better to analyze and be wise.

What have you lost or gained and which do you think is easier and why? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

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About Eva Finn

Eva Finn is an award-winning marketing copywriter, advertising instructor and life expert. She started the blog, Wise Before 25 so young women can avoid making the same mistakes she did. This blog will become a book of the same title, which will include contributions from readers. She was also published in a book about the subject of hair– the good, bad and the ugly – called, fittingly enough, Hair Pieces, by the Cary Tennis Workshop. As a copywriter for more than 20 years, she has written ads, brochures, direct mail, radio and television for clients that included In-N-Out Burger, Bank of America, Toyota and Ingram Micro. Eva has a bachelor’s degree in English and a master’s degree in education. She has taught advertising classes at The Art Institute of California-Orange County and California State University, Fullerton. And she has had plenty of hard knocks from the school of life.

4 responses »

  1. Gained: weight and wrinkles. But also wisdom and perspective. Lost: loved ones and motivation. But also, regret and worry. It’s god to reflect, but not wallow. Learn, and move forward. My faith gives me the solid core that makes that possible year after year. Friends and family smooth the way. All in all, life is a pretty wonderful journey. The ups, downs and in betweens add depth. Thanks for the reminders and advice. Here’s to a great 2015!

    • Regret and worry are two great things to lose. Wish I could! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and you are one of the friends who has smoothed and continues to smooth my way 🙂

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