Category Archives: Young Women

Feb11

Having sex with fewer people is much more fulfilling.

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Boy, I sure wish I’d learned this one before I turned 25. Not that I could be compared to Gene Simmons, but I certainly was no ????????????????????????????????????????angel. And while some of it may have been fun, most of the time, I felt empty and unfulfilled. Inside, I always wished that each one would be the one. And as the years passed, all of these encounters didn’t bring me any closer to what I really wanted – a loving relationship with my soul mate. I recently watched an indie film called “Tiny Furniture,” which was the precursor to the HBO series, “Girls.” Honestly, it made me melancholy and quite sad. I thought young women had come so far and weren’t doing the stupid stuff that I did. Or at least not as much of it. All this talk of “Girl Power” allowed me to believe that we were above degrading ourselves for some loser guy. That said, if you still want to have “fun” and think you can handle it – all I can say is be safe. But also, be honest with yourself about what it is you really want.

Here are a few good questions to ask yourself about your friends with benefits relationship or other casual encounters: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/donna-davidge/casual-sex-good-idea-you

Word to the wise: A good lay is just a good lay. It won’t keep you warm at night, especially after the door closes and someone says they’ll call and they never do.

What do you think about casual sex? Do you think these experiences hurt or help young women? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Feb6

21. Pets are a huge responsibility and they deserve to be treated well.

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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m an animal lover. And they might even tell you about my cat, Mr. Chew-Cha. ???????????????????????????????????????Because he’s a big part of my life. What I can tell you is that I really wasn’t ready for the responsibility. But my mom decided I was, so right about when I turned 38, she dropped Mr. Chew-Cha on my doorstep (whose shelter name was “Hobo” by the way). Immediately, I tried to get rid of him. Because I liked to travel, be footloose and fancy-free and I was single and had no ties. After putting up flyers with the clever headline “Hobo Needs a Home” and emailing all my friends, it was clear that Hobo and I were stuck with each other and that he needed a new name. But at no small price. I love him more than life itself but I do miss my freedom. You see, I’m the kind of person who knows that he misses me when I’m not there. And that he’s always home waiting for me. And most important, that he depends on me for everything. I don’t think I got that as much when I was in my 20s. Fortunately, I really didn’t have pets back then and my roommates never really wanted any. So some poor animal didn’t suffer because of our late hours and lack of responsibility.

Word to the wise: Think long and hard before getting a pet. Do you really have the time or desire to give them the love and attention they deserve? You need to be fair to yourself and fair to them. Pets can bring great joy into your life, but you need to be at a place in your life where you can bring them great joy, too. Here are some thoughts for college students considering getting a pet: https://vet.osu.edu/education/responsibilities-pet-ownership, which unless you’re a complete hermit, I wouldn’t recommend.

Do you have a pet? Ever seen some of your friends who have them and wonder why they do? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

Feb4

20. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know everything about you.

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Many have told me that my life is an open book. As clearly, writing this blog would indicate. And I’ve also been told that I wear my???????????????????????????????????????? heart on my sleeve. These are not terrific qualities for attracting and getting a guy – or keeping him. There was an expression I heard once, and I apologize in advance for the language – but it goes like this: “Only show a man half your ass.” This is an incredibly wise saying. Why? Because honestly, men really don’t want or need to know everything, and I mean everything, about you. You should always have some things you keep to yourself. Not only does this help you maintain your independence, it also makes your guy wonder from time to time what you’re up to. Or what you’ve been up to. Nothing wrong with that. This concept, unfortunately, is even harder for most of us to do today because of Facebook, Twitter and what I call the social networking palooza. Everyone seems to be sharing way too much. But that doesn’t mean you have to, too.

Word to the wise: Let him spill his secrets. When you share less about yourself, the more he’ll share with you. And that’s a secret all wise women know. Here’s some more interesting thoughts on this mysterious subject: http://ezinearticles.com/?Mystery-Solved—How-to-Be-Mysterious-and-Keep-Him-Wanting-More&id=3031693

How do you feel about keeping a bit of mystery in your relationship? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov19

4. Facebook is your friend.

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Look at me. I’m oh so popular. I have hundreds of friends (ok, more like 70) and 25 of them (ok, more like one) liked the post I just added five minutes ago. No comments – yet. Oh wait, and it’s my birthday, too? I almost forgot. Look at my wall. Pretty impressive that everyone remembers me on my special day (not to mention that Facebook sends them all a little reminder, but that’s beside the point.) This is all pretty overwhelming considering I was never that popular in high school, except for my drama and choir friends. Which should give you a pretty good idea of just where I fell on the popularity spectrum. But on Facebook, I’m a superstar. Someone just tagged me in a photo. Everyone is saying how beautiful we are. Damn, I’m feeling pretty good about myself today. Facebook is my best friend, ever.

Word to the wise: Facebook can be your friend, if you have a life outside of it. It’s nice to know that someone, anyone, cares that you went to Zumba last night or had a roast beef sandwich for lunch. And birthdays aren’t too bad, either.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

Nov14

3. If your roommate’s boyfriend is a former felon and she doesn’t know what he was in jail for, move out.

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True story, I kid you not. My final roommate (and the following will give you an indication of why I’ve been living alone ever since) used to bring guys home from bars. We had two bedrooms and we shared a bathroom and a shower. Good times. Especially when strange dudes would sleep over. Like Butch, the felon (and yes, that was his real name). I was told that he served time, but my roommate didn’t know what for. Butch was quite a character. I remember how it creeped me out the way he would look at me before I would go for a jog. Yes, I was wearing shorts and a sports bra, but that wasn’t atypical jogging attire, unless you just got out of the slammer and haven’t seen a woman in five years (just speculation). And get this, according to my roommate Brittany, whose name I’ve changed to protect the stupid, when they went out to dinner and it was time to pay, he would have her go out to the car and start the engine. When he would get in the car, he’d tell her to step on the gas because he had just skipped out on the bill. I believe that’s what they call a “dine and dash.” After hearing about this incident, I moved out pronto.

Word to the wise: When it comes to roommates, know when it’s time to hold ’em and when it’s time to fold ’em. Because your safety and well being come first. You shouldn’t allow any roommate to put either of those things at risk. And if you can afford to live alone, that’s the wisest thing you can do by far.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

Nov6

Why do you need to be wise before 25?

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Let me start by saying at my age (which let’s just say is old enough to know better), there’s still a lot I have to learn. But boy, there are sure some things I wish I knew before I hit the half-century mark. I think my life would have been a lot easier. That’s the inspiration for my upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.” Because ladies, let’s face it, it’s tough out there. That’s why making good decisions about your life now will totally make your life better later.

I trust there will be plenty of comments and discussion about the things I think you need to know. And I hope to publish some of your posts anonymously in the book. If you’re older and wiser, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. And of course, I want to hear from those of you who are younger but wiser. Because you already had to learn some of these lessons the hard way.

Here’s to getting smarter!