I’m pleased and excited to present a guest blog today, “Letting go” by the writer and creator of The Reporter and The Girl
MINUS The Superman series. This raw, captivating blog documents the trials and tribulations of her 14-month relationship with a reporter. Our guest’s blog, http://thereporterandthegirl.com/tag/the-reporter-and-the-girl/ also has the distinction of being the web’s 29th Most Popular Relationship blog.
I reached out to her to write about letting go and how hard it can be. Here’s her words of wisdom on this difficult subject:
Shrimp, chives, and mayonnaise.
That what’s in this salad I bought at my local deli nearly 3 weeks agoHHHhhhmmmm….and it looked good as the man scooped up some and weighed it out for me in a container to take home. But I never got a chance to taste it. I came down with a flu/cold/plague that left me feverish in bed drinking tea and soup for a week.
And the container sat there, until I finally convinced myself to toss it into the trash today.
I had been trying to talk myself out of taking a little bite, just to please my curiosity.
Are you still holding on to the trash in your life?
It may be a little controversial to think of that ex as “trash,” but when something or someone is stinking up your life and making you miserable—you gotta take it out.
Letting go is the hardest but yet will give you the most relief so you can clear space in your heart, mind and if need be –your fridge for fresh new life.
It’s also a process too; unlike tossing a container into the bag in one step. This may require deleting old messages, defriend or unfollowing on social media sites, and maybe avoiding certain gathering places.
Now, I’ll admit that I’m no expert on relationships or post-break up protocols, I can only give what I have learned from my break up experience and over a period of many weeks, I began to let go of the pieces one by one.
Know that it’s normal to want to cling on to some memory or reminder of our loved ones, but more importantly, know that you’ll be ok without them. The truth is s/he is probably doing ok without you too.
If you have friends and family around, hang out with them more often so you won’t feel so lonely, and if you are alone, then do something that puts yourself first – like a favorite activity you had no time for in the past or even treating yourself to something you’ve always wanted to do!
And in the case where you really can’t stop thinking about the past, do something creative with it. I started writing as way to express my feelings to Jon*. Perhaps you can write a letter to your ex or song or a poem or any other creative outlet. Sometimes exerting our emotions into something tangible can give us relief.
But letting go of that dead weight – bad feelings, anger and resentment, etc…is the best thing that you can do for YOU. You gain control again of yourself and prove that no one can stink up your life.
Writer and Creator of TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperman series
Nice. 🙂 Forgiveness is a major part of letting go..
So true. But for me it’s the forgetting that’s the hard part 🙂 or 😦
Way to use the internet to help people solve prelsomb!
Thank you! This was actually a guest post from my friend who writes The Reporter and the Girl. So I can’t take credit for all the insight 🙂
Reblogged this on takingthingsdaybyday and commented:
Wise words from the Writer and Creator of TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperman series.
On reading this I reflected on the idea that things are easier said than done; just because it’s harder to do, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do what we know is best for us in the long run.
Letting go is hard, but ultimately it’s for the best.
Yes, as the saying goes when one door closes, another opens. But fear of the unknown can keep us from exploring that open door. Thanks for your comment.
I would suggest not ‘fighting with the process’. If you feel sad, angry, etc., allow it and accept that’s how you feel at that moment. Be with it, but don’t let in consume you. When you see things as a process rather than permanent, the situation becomes more manageable.
I think that’s true mostly, but sometimes I can’t see the forest through the trees, so to speak. I’m so far in it that I think feeling bad will never end. But, it always does. Eventually…Thanks for your comment.
Yep, eventually it will pass. Funny how I was just reading your guest post on thereporterandthegirl ;o)
Didn’t Confucious say that? Wise dude. Thanks for sharing and glad you were able to read my post on the reporterandthegirl 🙂
You’re welcome. But don’t forget, saying something and doing something will lead to different experiences ;o) (just a reminder for us all)
Oh yeah, that is an absolutely devastatingly hard thing to do…letting go (of stuff in my fridge, house and BRAIN) has been my Waterloo all my life. I’ve been working on it though. Not long ago I read a piece by a wonderful poet and cancer-survivor named Mark Nepo that described that difficulty as a function of “never fully trusting” that the important pieces of all that we hold onto “are already a part of us,” and that we can therefore release the tangible bits so that they don’t get in our way any longer. That really spoke to me, and I’m realizing that being present to my current moment, fully experiencing it as it is happening, helps me to trust that these experiences are indeed a part of me, and that any other “mementos” are not only unnecessary, but downright cumbersome. It is very freeing, whenever I remember! I am still a digital photo hoarder, however (among other things), so I still have a long way to go :). It’s a process. Good Luck!
I’ve been loinkog for a post like this for an age
Thank you! I’m glad that my guest blogger from The Reporter and the Girl could help you out. Loss is always hard.