Tag Archives: Self-esteem

Dec3

10. Don’t spend a weekend away with someone you just met.

Posted on by
Standard

As in don’t have some guy you met in a bar fly 3,000 miles to spend a weekend with you. Yes, I did that once. I’m trying to remember hhow old I was. Probably in my early 20s. It all started at this cool dance club in New York called the Limelight and he was charming, Italian and his real name was Angelo, although he went by “Chuck.” Maybe that should have been my first clue. After a night of drinking and dancing – and that’s all – somehow I thought it would be fun for him to come and visit me in California and stay at my place. He actually took me up on the offer and about a month later, I was picking him up at the airport and he was in my apartment. I have no idea what possessed either of us. Because I realized when I saw him again, I wasn’t attracted to him. A dark nightclub, great music and dim lighting does a lot for a person. Or maybe it was just one of those magical nights that should have stayed just that. Regardless, it was one of the longest weekends ever. When he realized he wasn’t going to get what he came for, he began to nitpick everything about me. And I probably wasn’t too much of a peach to him either.

Word to the wise: Going away for a weekend with a guy you don’t know very well could end up being the longest weekend of your life. Spending that much time with someone is a big deal. And when you add the stress of travel combined with your respective quirks, fun isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Even with someone you know well, a weekend away can be longer than you think.

What do you think? Have you ever gone away for a weekend with someone and regretted it? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov30

9. Don’t listen to your parents.

Posted on by
Standard

As wise and wonderful as my parents have been, they haven’t always been right about everything. Like Woody Allen says, h“Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat, college…” Remember the 90/10 rule? (see post #7, “Listen to your parents”) – 90 percent of the time they’re right. And then, there’s that other 10 percent. As painful as it was to defy their wishes, sometimes I’m glad I did. Like when I bought my first place. It’s not that my parents didn’t want me to be a homeowner, they just didn’t think I was ready for the financial burden or responsibility. But I knew I was. It’s funny, today my dad says buying my condo was one of the best decisions I ever made. My dad also wasn’t too happy about my choice to become an advertising copywriter. At the time, there were very few jobs and as he put it, landing one would be like trying to break into show business. Well, I stuck with it anyway and as a result, I have had and continue to have a successful copywriting career. But when I ask myself why my parents didn’t support these decisions I know it was only because they were trying to protect me. Which is what your parents will always try to do.

Word to the wise: Sometimes, only you know what’s right for you. But it doesn’t hurt to ask advice from your parents. Because while you may think you know what’s right, they always want what’s best. If you want to start a dialogue with your parents but don’t know how, check this out:

http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/arguing-with-your-parents

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov26

7. Know how to cook three things well.

Posted on by
Standard

I suppose being a creative type of person and someone who loves food (and don’t get me started on wine), I’ve always been interested in cooking. Also, living with my dad after my parents divorced, I started experimenting at an early age. One of my favorite things to make was spaghetti and meat sauce. Or should I say, ground beef and Ragu. My tastes have evolved somewhat (although they still include frosted blueberry Pop Tarts) and I’ve learned to master a few dishes. Unfortunately, I’ve put my family and friends through some disasters over the years to get to the good stuff. The three things I make really well are omelets (my secret is starting them on the stovetop and finishing them in the oven), deviled eggs (are you sensing a theme here?) and the piece de resistance, my grilled smoked turkey sausage Reuben. As you can see, none of these are super complicated but I know when I make them, everyone will want more. Of course, I cook many other things, just not as well. Do you have your three yet?

Word to the wise: It’s nice to be able to whip something up that’s tried and true. While experimenting can be fun, you’ll find that some things are best left in the lab. So choose your three things and take the time to perfect them. And even though you may not be an Iron Chef, you’ll feel like one.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov23

6. If the guy you’re dating says he “needs space,” he probably needs room to date someone else.

Posted on by
Standard

If I had a nickel for every guy who said that to me, I’d have more money than Bill Gates. Well, almost. And apparently, Taylor Swift just had a similar experience. You should take heart in her song, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” where she sings, “We hadn’t seen each other in a month, when you said you needed space. (What?).” Sound familiar? It sure does to me. If some douche bag told you he needs space, you should really make that song your anthem. And whatever you do, don’t take it personally. Clearly, Taylor Swift didn’t. She just got that sucker back in a song. The lowdown is if some schmuck says this to you, he just wants to keep you dangling while he explores his options. Like the cute blond he met at the club last night. The last time a guy told me he needed space, I was dumb enough to ask, “How much?” Please don’t ever demean yourself this way. If he needs space, give him all the room he needs. Maybe even suggest he move to Montana.

Word to the wise: This is always a no-win situation – for you. If you allow this type of behavior, he will gladly take you for granted and continue dating other women and eventually, break up with you. That may not be what you want to hear, but when you think about all of your friends who are in good relationships or are married, have they ever told you that their guy needed space? If the answer to that is yes, I doubt they have the kind of relationship you want anyway.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov21

5. Facebook is your enemy.

Posted on by
Standard

Look at me. My life sucks. All of my “friends” are always going somewhere exciting, have boyfriends who are willing to take lots of pictures with them and throw really fun parties they don’t invite me to. Reading these posts can incite me to throw a party of my own – a pity party. But then I remember that I went to Italy last year, fulfilling a lifelong dream, and hey, I’m working on writing this blog and getting a book published. And then, well, things start to look up a bit. Maybe if I posted some of that on Facebook, I’d feel better. Someone might even hit the “like” button or make a comment. Wow, I could start feeling really good about myself again. And then whoever reads my posts might feel just like I do when I read theirs. Hmmmm…

Word to the wise: Have a life outside of Facebook. And know that just because people post that they’re having the most wonderful time in the world, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are. Or if it makes you feel better, they are.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”