Tag Archives: Happiness

Feb20

24. Doing laundry on a regular basis relieves stress.

Posted on by
Standard

Unless of course, it’s your new Pottery Barn duvet cover, which doesn’t appear to have any washing instructions. As long as I???????????????????????????????????????? can remember, I’ve hated doing laundry. Especially when I lived in apartments where you had to go downstairs with your over-stuffed basket (socks and underwear falling off the top) and then walk what felt like a mile to the laundry room. As if that weren’t bad enough, it always seemed to be raining on those rare occasions when I did decide to make that trek. Oh, and lest we forget about all those lovely people who take your wet stuff out of the washer because you happened to get there two minutes after the machine completed its cycle. So back then, I had an excuse. Although I wonder if I had attempted to do laundry more often if it would have been less stressful. Like one load a week instead of 10 loads in one day. I think while less efficient, given the amount of effort it took to get to and from the laundry room; it would have been worth it. When I did finally get an apartment that had a washer and dryer hook-up, guess what? I still did 10 loads in one day. And it was such a chore. I finally realized that doing one load a week is much more manageable. And now, I have clean underwear all the time (mostly).

Word to the wise: Always having clean clothes (not to mention clean underwear) feels nice. And looking at a half-full laundry basket instead of one that’s brimming over the top won’t make you feel half empty.

So is doing laundry just about doing laundry? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

Feb11

Having sex with fewer people is much more fulfilling.

Posted on by
Standard

Boy, I sure wish I’d learned this one before I turned 25. Not that I could be compared to Gene Simmons, but I certainly was no ????????????????????????????????????????angel. And while some of it may have been fun, most of the time, I felt empty and unfulfilled. Inside, I always wished that each one would be the one. And as the years passed, all of these encounters didn’t bring me any closer to what I really wanted – a loving relationship with my soul mate. I recently watched an indie film called “Tiny Furniture,” which was the precursor to the HBO series, “Girls.” Honestly, it made me melancholy and quite sad. I thought young women had come so far and weren’t doing the stupid stuff that I did. Or at least not as much of it. All this talk of “Girl Power” allowed me to believe that we were above degrading ourselves for some loser guy. That said, if you still want to have “fun” and think you can handle it – all I can say is be safe. But also, be honest with yourself about what it is you really want.

Here are a few good questions to ask yourself about your friends with benefits relationship or other casual encounters: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/donna-davidge/casual-sex-good-idea-you

Word to the wise: A good lay is just a good lay. It won’t keep you warm at night, especially after the door closes and someone says they’ll call and they never do.

What do you think about casual sex? Do you think these experiences hurt or help young women? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Feb6

21. Pets are a huge responsibility and they deserve to be treated well.

Posted on by
Standard

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m an animal lover. And they might even tell you about my cat, Mr. Chew-Cha. ???????????????????????????????????????Because he’s a big part of my life. What I can tell you is that I really wasn’t ready for the responsibility. But my mom decided I was, so right about when I turned 38, she dropped Mr. Chew-Cha on my doorstep (whose shelter name was “Hobo” by the way). Immediately, I tried to get rid of him. Because I liked to travel, be footloose and fancy-free and I was single and had no ties. After putting up flyers with the clever headline “Hobo Needs a Home” and emailing all my friends, it was clear that Hobo and I were stuck with each other and that he needed a new name. But at no small price. I love him more than life itself but I do miss my freedom. You see, I’m the kind of person who knows that he misses me when I’m not there. And that he’s always home waiting for me. And most important, that he depends on me for everything. I don’t think I got that as much when I was in my 20s. Fortunately, I really didn’t have pets back then and my roommates never really wanted any. So some poor animal didn’t suffer because of our late hours and lack of responsibility.

Word to the wise: Think long and hard before getting a pet. Do you really have the time or desire to give them the love and attention they deserve? You need to be fair to yourself and fair to them. Pets can bring great joy into your life, but you need to be at a place in your life where you can bring them great joy, too. Here are some thoughts for college students considering getting a pet: https://vet.osu.edu/education/responsibilities-pet-ownership, which unless you’re a complete hermit, I wouldn’t recommend.

Do you have a pet? Ever seen some of your friends who have them and wonder why they do? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know.”

Dec17

16. Give to charity, even when you think you’re broke.

Posted on by
Standard

While I’d like to take credit for thinking of this one, it’s really Suze Orman who inspired me to do this in my own life. I had read her hbook, “The Courage to Be Rich, Creating a Life of Financial and Spiritual Abundance,” and this was one of her ideas that really stood out. Basically, the thought is if you give to someone else, it makes you feel like you have something to give, and that feels good. So even if you can’t afford a chai latte every day, when you really think about it, there are people and animals that are much worse off than you. Her book also states that by giving to charity, you will become richer by doing so. I think that’s true both spiritually and materially. Even if you have just a little, for someone less fortunate, it can go a long way. Maybe it’s that whole law of the universe kind of a thing. When you give, you get back. The true challenge I’ve found is not the giving – it’s who to give to. You want to make sure that your hard-earned money is going where it really needs to go. And not into the pocket of some administrator.

Word to the wise: Give a little and you’ll get a lot. But just make sure you do your research. A great place to start is www.charitywatch.org. It rates charities on how they spend your money. And hey, anything you give is also a tax write-off. Now don’t you feel richer already?

Have any favorite charities? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec12

14. A dirty car says more about you than you think it does.

Posted on by
Standard

You know, I was a real car slob – and not just in my teens and 20s. I honestly don’t know how I ever got past a first date, hespecially if I was driving (hint – one way to avoid this altogether is to make the guy drive). One of my favorite cars, I remember it fondly, was a black Nissan Sentra. It lit up like an airplane cockpit at night. And I had so much stuff in it that you could barely get in the front seat – let alone put your feet anywhere. Between my CD collection (of course the cases were everywhere but I could never find the CD that went with each case), water bottles, junk mail, dry cleaning and used condoms (kidding), the state of my car became a joke among my family and friends. Although it would appear I was the only one who didn’t get it. Honestly, it was embarrassing. And, it sort of made me feel bad about myself, which, when I was in my 20s, I had more than enough to feel bad about already.

Word to the wise: Today, I’m a neat car freak. And the best part of all, I’m never embarrassed to drive. Or meet someone for a date and have him walk me to my car. Of course, what happens after that is anyone’s guess.

Are you a car star or slob? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec7

12. If you decide to pierce your nose, make sure it doesn’t look like a booger on the inside of your nostril.

Posted on by
Standard

Ok, on this one I’m not talking from personal experience. Meaning, I’ve never pierced my nose. I tried to double pierce my ears once, Fotosearch_k3732974but the new holes kept getting infected and I had to let them close. Hope you’re not eating while you read this. Anyway, the reason I’m bringing up this situation is because there’s this young woman I’ve known for about two years and every time I see her, it looks like she has a bat in the cave. I finally figured out she had her nose pierced. What I realized after this about nose piercings in general is, if you have really wide nostrils like my friend, the stud looks like a booger to the untrained eye. And if the piercing is really small on the outside of the nose, like my friend’s, you might not even notice that the nose is pierced at all.

Word to the wise: If you’re going to pierce your nose, make sure you have small nostrils. Or if you have wide nostrils, make sure people can see it on the outside of your nose (a ring might be a great solution – really hard to miss those). It has to be big enough so we can easily distinguish a piercing from a booger. Nuff said.

What do you think? Have any insights on nose piercings, the good, the bad, and the ugly? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec5

11. Travel with a tour group.

Posted on by
Standard

I went to Italy on a guided bus tour for 11 days and this was one of the best experiences of my life. I highly recommend taking a trip hlike this before you’re 25. If you can do it alone, even better. Because you’re going to meet lots of people, many of whom will take you under their wing. I remember on my Italy tour, one of the girls who traveled alone celebrated her 21st birthday at a Tuscan farmhouse having the most incredible food and wine while enjoying the well wishes of her travel companions, which included a very happy me. Not to mention, all of us dancing the “Macarena” with a goofy Italian DJ. And the night before her 21st birthday, we all had dinner in this incredible piazza in Rome where I introduced her to Sambuca. Yeah, I’m a bad influence (see post #74, “Learn how to make a killer cocktail and always have the ingredients on hand at your place”) I’m sure that’s one birthday she’ll never forget. The other really great thing about a tour like this is if you go to a country where you don’t speak the language, everything is taken care of for you. We never had to buy a ticket to a museum, or worry about our luggage, where to go and how to get there. I’ve traveled the other way – driving 1,600 miles across Ireland – and I can tell you the days we took bus tours were the ones we looked forward to most of all. For my trip to Italy, every day was a bus day and every day was absolutely the best.

Word to the wise: If you want to go somewhere far away, a bus tour is your best bet. I wish I had done it sooner. I’m doing one again next year. And you should, too. Here’s the company I went with, in case you’re interested, they go over all over the world and I highly recommend them:

http://www.globusjourneys.com

What do you think? Ever traveled with a group? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec3

10. Don’t spend a weekend away with someone you just met.

Posted on by
Standard

As in don’t have some guy you met in a bar fly 3,000 miles to spend a weekend with you. Yes, I did that once. I’m trying to remember hhow old I was. Probably in my early 20s. It all started at this cool dance club in New York called the Limelight and he was charming, Italian and his real name was Angelo, although he went by “Chuck.” Maybe that should have been my first clue. After a night of drinking and dancing – and that’s all – somehow I thought it would be fun for him to come and visit me in California and stay at my place. He actually took me up on the offer and about a month later, I was picking him up at the airport and he was in my apartment. I have no idea what possessed either of us. Because I realized when I saw him again, I wasn’t attracted to him. A dark nightclub, great music and dim lighting does a lot for a person. Or maybe it was just one of those magical nights that should have stayed just that. Regardless, it was one of the longest weekends ever. When he realized he wasn’t going to get what he came for, he began to nitpick everything about me. And I probably wasn’t too much of a peach to him either.

Word to the wise: Going away for a weekend with a guy you don’t know very well could end up being the longest weekend of your life. Spending that much time with someone is a big deal. And when you add the stress of travel combined with your respective quirks, fun isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Even with someone you know well, a weekend away can be longer than you think.

What do you think? Have you ever gone away for a weekend with someone and regretted it? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov30

9. Don’t listen to your parents.

Posted on by
Standard

As wise and wonderful as my parents have been, they haven’t always been right about everything. Like Woody Allen says, h“Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat, college…” Remember the 90/10 rule? (see post #7, “Listen to your parents”) – 90 percent of the time they’re right. And then, there’s that other 10 percent. As painful as it was to defy their wishes, sometimes I’m glad I did. Like when I bought my first place. It’s not that my parents didn’t want me to be a homeowner, they just didn’t think I was ready for the financial burden or responsibility. But I knew I was. It’s funny, today my dad says buying my condo was one of the best decisions I ever made. My dad also wasn’t too happy about my choice to become an advertising copywriter. At the time, there were very few jobs and as he put it, landing one would be like trying to break into show business. Well, I stuck with it anyway and as a result, I have had and continue to have a successful copywriting career. But when I ask myself why my parents didn’t support these decisions I know it was only because they were trying to protect me. Which is what your parents will always try to do.

Word to the wise: Sometimes, only you know what’s right for you. But it doesn’t hurt to ask advice from your parents. Because while you may think you know what’s right, they always want what’s best. If you want to start a dialogue with your parents but don’t know how, check this out:

http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/arguing-with-your-parents

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov28

8. Listen to your parents.

Posted on by
Standard

Over the course of my life, I’ve done the math and it turns out my parents are right about 90 percent of the time.

That’s a pretty good statistic seeing as they’re probably the only two people in the world who want what’s best for me. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that blood truly is thicker than water.  While I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with many great friends, sometimes, understandably so, they’re caught up in their own stuff and may not always give the best advice. On the other hand, my parents are always caught up in my stuff, because they’re my parents (this can be a blessing and a curse). So let’s see, what have my parents been right about so far?

  1. Telling me to never ever date anyone named Steve again.
  2. Cheering me on to break up with every Steve (and there have been at least five).
  3. Not saving me by paying off my credit card debt, but helping me by paying off my student loans.
  4. Pushing me to get my college degree.
  5. Asking me to always lock my doors and windows.
  6. Making me wear a sweater when it’s cold. (Now this one is questionable because recent studies show that being out in the cold doesn’t mean you’ll catch cold. But my dad won’t have any of it).
  7. Being happier to see me single than miserable in the wrong relationship.

Those are just a few examples of a lifetime’s worth of my parents’ wisdom. I’m sure you can find a few of your own. 

Word to the wise: Most of the time, it pays to listen to your parents. You may not agree with everything they say, but you should know that’s it’s coming from the best possible place – their hearts. And no one loves you like they do. So the next time they offer you advice, at the very least, think about it.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”