Dec17

16. Give to charity, even when you think you’re broke.

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While I’d like to take credit for thinking of this one, it’s really Suze Orman who inspired me to do this in my own life. I had read her hbook, “The Courage to Be Rich, Creating a Life of Financial and Spiritual Abundance,” and this was one of her ideas that really stood out. Basically, the thought is if you give to someone else, it makes you feel like you have something to give, and that feels good. So even if you can’t afford a chai latte every day, when you really think about it, there are people and animals that are much worse off than you. Her book also states that by giving to charity, you will become richer by doing so. I think that’s true both spiritually and materially. Even if you have just a little, for someone less fortunate, it can go a long way. Maybe it’s that whole law of the universe kind of a thing. When you give, you get back. The true challenge I’ve found is not the giving – it’s who to give to. You want to make sure that your hard-earned money is going where it really needs to go. And not into the pocket of some administrator.

Word to the wise: Give a little and you’ll get a lot. But just make sure you do your research. A great place to start is www.charitywatch.org. It rates charities on how they spend your money. And hey, anything you give is also a tax write-off. Now don’t you feel richer already?

Have any favorite charities? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec14

15. If your married boss asks you to take pictures of him naked, don’t.

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Yes, that really happened to me and boy, was it surreal. Needless to say, I didn’t take him up on his offer and things at the office hwere more than a little awkward after that. Oh and whatever you do, don’t go out with married guys, especially if they’re your boss. Just don’t go out with married guys in general. No matter how often they ask. Even if they offer to take you away for the weekend to some really cool place you can’t afford because you’re trying to pay off your credit card debt (see post #6, “Lots of credit card debt is no way to go through your 20s”). Not my finest moment, but I did go away to Mexico for a weekend with another boss who was married and beyond persistent. The affair didn’t last long and I lost my job because of it. What can I say? I was only 27 and the guy wined and dined me and told me I was the most wonderful thing in the world. But it didn’t change the fact that he was married and had three kids. Had the affair continued, I would have been alone at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve, not to mention Valentine’s Day, while he was spending time with his wife and family. I’m so glad that I never had to go through any of that. I never looked at a married man again, even if he looked at me.

Word to the wise: Don’t date married men. You have everything to lose – including precious time – while they have everything to gain. And if you were his wife, how would you feel? If you believe in karma, and I sure do, keep yours good. Check out what this guy has to say on the subject:

http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/is-it-ever-right-to-have-an-affair-with-a-married-man/

Ever dated someone who’s married? How did it turn out? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec12

14. A dirty car says more about you than you think it does.

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You know, I was a real car slob – and not just in my teens and 20s. I honestly don’t know how I ever got past a first date, hespecially if I was driving (hint – one way to avoid this altogether is to make the guy drive). One of my favorite cars, I remember it fondly, was a black Nissan Sentra. It lit up like an airplane cockpit at night. And I had so much stuff in it that you could barely get in the front seat – let alone put your feet anywhere. Between my CD collection (of course the cases were everywhere but I could never find the CD that went with each case), water bottles, junk mail, dry cleaning and used condoms (kidding), the state of my car became a joke among my family and friends. Although it would appear I was the only one who didn’t get it. Honestly, it was embarrassing. And, it sort of made me feel bad about myself, which, when I was in my 20s, I had more than enough to feel bad about already.

Word to the wise: Today, I’m a neat car freak. And the best part of all, I’m never embarrassed to drive. Or meet someone for a date and have him walk me to my car. Of course, what happens after that is anyone’s guess.

Are you a car star or slob? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec10

13. Don’t take 10 years to get your four-year degree.

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Taking 10 years instead of the requisite four to get your college degree is definitely something I wouldn’t recommend. It’s time consuming and expensive. Especially if you keep switching your major. Case in point: me. I didn’t stick to the major I started with – Theater Arts. Let’s just say my dad wasn’t too thrilled with my ambitions (or prospects) of being an actress. So to appease him, I became a business major. This time, I was the one who wasn’t too thrilled. So I decided to change my major yet again. I chose English Literature, figuring it was practical, yet creative. Finally, at the age of 27, yours truly was awarded a Bachelor of Arts in English. If I’d just stuck to theater arts (and honestly, if you’re a liberal arts major, nobody really cares what your degree is in), I could have had my degree when I was 22. I do have a ton of units, by the way. Although, today some might say getting a four-year degree isn’t worth it. But a recent study says it is:

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/05/10/what-does-a-college-degree-really-get-you-in-2012/

Word to the wise: Unless you want to be a doctor, lawyer or nuclear physicist, get your degree in four years – even if your major is Home Economics. One of my roommates chose that as her major and ended up being a real-estate appraiser making upward of $175,000 per year (well, the market was good once).

How long did it take you to get your degree and do you think it matters? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in“Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec7

12. If you decide to pierce your nose, make sure it doesn’t look like a booger on the inside of your nostril.

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Ok, on this one I’m not talking from personal experience. Meaning, I’ve never pierced my nose. I tried to double pierce my ears once, Fotosearch_k3732974but the new holes kept getting infected and I had to let them close. Hope you’re not eating while you read this. Anyway, the reason I’m bringing up this situation is because there’s this young woman I’ve known for about two years and every time I see her, it looks like she has a bat in the cave. I finally figured out she had her nose pierced. What I realized after this about nose piercings in general is, if you have really wide nostrils like my friend, the stud looks like a booger to the untrained eye. And if the piercing is really small on the outside of the nose, like my friend’s, you might not even notice that the nose is pierced at all.

Word to the wise: If you’re going to pierce your nose, make sure you have small nostrils. Or if you have wide nostrils, make sure people can see it on the outside of your nose (a ring might be a great solution – really hard to miss those). It has to be big enough so we can easily distinguish a piercing from a booger. Nuff said.

What do you think? Have any insights on nose piercings, the good, the bad, and the ugly? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec5

11. Travel with a tour group.

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I went to Italy on a guided bus tour for 11 days and this was one of the best experiences of my life. I highly recommend taking a trip hlike this before you’re 25. If you can do it alone, even better. Because you’re going to meet lots of people, many of whom will take you under their wing. I remember on my Italy tour, one of the girls who traveled alone celebrated her 21st birthday at a Tuscan farmhouse having the most incredible food and wine while enjoying the well wishes of her travel companions, which included a very happy me. Not to mention, all of us dancing the “Macarena” with a goofy Italian DJ. And the night before her 21st birthday, we all had dinner in this incredible piazza in Rome where I introduced her to Sambuca. Yeah, I’m a bad influence (see post #74, “Learn how to make a killer cocktail and always have the ingredients on hand at your place”) I’m sure that’s one birthday she’ll never forget. The other really great thing about a tour like this is if you go to a country where you don’t speak the language, everything is taken care of for you. We never had to buy a ticket to a museum, or worry about our luggage, where to go and how to get there. I’ve traveled the other way – driving 1,600 miles across Ireland – and I can tell you the days we took bus tours were the ones we looked forward to most of all. For my trip to Italy, every day was a bus day and every day was absolutely the best.

Word to the wise: If you want to go somewhere far away, a bus tour is your best bet. I wish I had done it sooner. I’m doing one again next year. And you should, too. Here’s the company I went with, in case you’re interested, they go over all over the world and I highly recommend them:

http://www.globusjourneys.com

What do you think? Ever traveled with a group? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Dec3

10. Don’t spend a weekend away with someone you just met.

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As in don’t have some guy you met in a bar fly 3,000 miles to spend a weekend with you. Yes, I did that once. I’m trying to remember hhow old I was. Probably in my early 20s. It all started at this cool dance club in New York called the Limelight and he was charming, Italian and his real name was Angelo, although he went by “Chuck.” Maybe that should have been my first clue. After a night of drinking and dancing – and that’s all – somehow I thought it would be fun for him to come and visit me in California and stay at my place. He actually took me up on the offer and about a month later, I was picking him up at the airport and he was in my apartment. I have no idea what possessed either of us. Because I realized when I saw him again, I wasn’t attracted to him. A dark nightclub, great music and dim lighting does a lot for a person. Or maybe it was just one of those magical nights that should have stayed just that. Regardless, it was one of the longest weekends ever. When he realized he wasn’t going to get what he came for, he began to nitpick everything about me. And I probably wasn’t too much of a peach to him either.

Word to the wise: Going away for a weekend with a guy you don’t know very well could end up being the longest weekend of your life. Spending that much time with someone is a big deal. And when you add the stress of travel combined with your respective quirks, fun isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Even with someone you know well, a weekend away can be longer than you think.

What do you think? Have you ever gone away for a weekend with someone and regretted it? Note: If I’m lucky enough to get a book deal, your comments may be published anonymously in, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov30

9. Don’t listen to your parents.

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As wise and wonderful as my parents have been, they haven’t always been right about everything. Like Woody Allen says, h“Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat, college…” Remember the 90/10 rule? (see post #7, “Listen to your parents”) – 90 percent of the time they’re right. And then, there’s that other 10 percent. As painful as it was to defy their wishes, sometimes I’m glad I did. Like when I bought my first place. It’s not that my parents didn’t want me to be a homeowner, they just didn’t think I was ready for the financial burden or responsibility. But I knew I was. It’s funny, today my dad says buying my condo was one of the best decisions I ever made. My dad also wasn’t too happy about my choice to become an advertising copywriter. At the time, there were very few jobs and as he put it, landing one would be like trying to break into show business. Well, I stuck with it anyway and as a result, I have had and continue to have a successful copywriting career. But when I ask myself why my parents didn’t support these decisions I know it was only because they were trying to protect me. Which is what your parents will always try to do.

Word to the wise: Sometimes, only you know what’s right for you. But it doesn’t hurt to ask advice from your parents. Because while you may think you know what’s right, they always want what’s best. If you want to start a dialogue with your parents but don’t know how, check this out:

http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/arguing-with-your-parents

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov28

8. Listen to your parents.

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Over the course of my life, I’ve done the math and it turns out my parents are right about 90 percent of the time.

That’s a pretty good statistic seeing as they’re probably the only two people in the world who want what’s best for me. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that blood truly is thicker than water.  While I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with many great friends, sometimes, understandably so, they’re caught up in their own stuff and may not always give the best advice. On the other hand, my parents are always caught up in my stuff, because they’re my parents (this can be a blessing and a curse). So let’s see, what have my parents been right about so far?

  1. Telling me to never ever date anyone named Steve again.
  2. Cheering me on to break up with every Steve (and there have been at least five).
  3. Not saving me by paying off my credit card debt, but helping me by paying off my student loans.
  4. Pushing me to get my college degree.
  5. Asking me to always lock my doors and windows.
  6. Making me wear a sweater when it’s cold. (Now this one is questionable because recent studies show that being out in the cold doesn’t mean you’ll catch cold. But my dad won’t have any of it).
  7. Being happier to see me single than miserable in the wrong relationship.

Those are just a few examples of a lifetime’s worth of my parents’ wisdom. I’m sure you can find a few of your own. 

Word to the wise: Most of the time, it pays to listen to your parents. You may not agree with everything they say, but you should know that’s it’s coming from the best possible place – their hearts. And no one loves you like they do. So the next time they offer you advice, at the very least, think about it.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”

Nov26

7. Know how to cook three things well.

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I suppose being a creative type of person and someone who loves food (and don’t get me started on wine), I’ve always been interested in cooking. Also, living with my dad after my parents divorced, I started experimenting at an early age. One of my favorite things to make was spaghetti and meat sauce. Or should I say, ground beef and Ragu. My tastes have evolved somewhat (although they still include frosted blueberry Pop Tarts) and I’ve learned to master a few dishes. Unfortunately, I’ve put my family and friends through some disasters over the years to get to the good stuff. The three things I make really well are omelets (my secret is starting them on the stovetop and finishing them in the oven), deviled eggs (are you sensing a theme here?) and the piece de resistance, my grilled smoked turkey sausage Reuben. As you can see, none of these are super complicated but I know when I make them, everyone will want more. Of course, I cook many other things, just not as well. Do you have your three yet?

Word to the wise: It’s nice to be able to whip something up that’s tried and true. While experimenting can be fun, you’ll find that some things are best left in the lab. So choose your three things and take the time to perfect them. And even though you may not be an Iron Chef, you’ll feel like one.

What do you think? Note: Your comments may be published anonymously in the upcoming book, “Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Should Know.”